Don't Say Forever...

more than 3 years ago, i exchanged vows with my husband at the altar which include the words " i never believed in forever"...and just because i made the commitment to spend the rest of my live with him doesn't mean that i now believe in forever...i still don't...i should have included that phrase way back then.

i am very careful in choosing my words because it might cost me my lifetime and my marriage. and forever as a word is still too strong for me. i still don't believe in forever, coz marriage is a constant thing, something that we both have to work at to make it last, or we could lose in a blink of an eye.

just because you're married does not guarantee a lifetime of happy togetherness. there will always be instances when you get attracted or interested to other individuals. there will always be times when you'd wonder about the life not lived, the partner not chosen, and the charming person who came a little too late...

there will also be times when you'd wonder what kind of live you would have lived, or what adventures you would have taken had you not been tied down with another person and with the responsibility of raising a family...

there will also be times when you'd wonder if you could ever survive dealing with the same attitude, sleeping with and waking up with the same person...there will be times that you'd doubt if you would never ever get bored with so much sameness and familiarity...

trust me, in my 38 months of being married, i had my share of those...

but marriage is not about doubts, it's never about speculations, never about what-ifs.

marriage is a choice. a choice to stay together, a choice to resist attractions, a choice to forgive misgivings, a choice to accept imperfections and a choice to make it a happy one.

there's no guarantee that you would not be tempted to take an easy way out. there's no guarantee that you could resist an adventure of going solo. there's no guarantee that you would not fall in love with another person. human as we are, our emotions fail us and we develop intimate affections for people other than our spouse. but we have a choice to pursue the feeling, or to stop the flame right there.

and it would all boil down to commitment - the commitment to keep the flame alive and to make it last through your lifetime. it's the commitment to choose what's right.

"in all the years that i have known you, you've always been the one who never went away, and today, i promise to be the one who will always stay. i never believed in forever, but this i promise, before God and before men, that i will honor you, that i will cherish you, and i will love you, today and always."

these are the words i have so carefully chosen, i have heartily and truthfully spoken. words that i am committed to live out, everyday of my life.