Married Again

I lost my wedding ring way back when I was still in training in Convergys which was a little more than a couple of y

ears ago. I've put off buying a new ring because I didn't really see the necessity of having one. Wearing a ring is not the be all and end all of being married. I don't necessarily see it as a symbol of unending love, but more of an indication of your marital status.

When I was in training for Quality, my trainer, John Pham refused to believe I am married. He lied about his age to us and he thought I was turning the table against him. He looked at my finger and saw no wedding ring. He refused to believe until I showed him pictures of my kids and my husband.

So to put an end to people's endless skepticism to my real civil status, and to lessen the shock when they see me with my kids, Aldrich and I got us a new set of wedding rings. I'm married - again.

Taking the Likes of Joker Seriously

On weekends, I open my eyes in the morning and Borjie greets me with a smile and a sweet “Good morning, Mommy!’ He then asks me if I want to eat rice and invites me to come downstairs. When I am eating, he gets a glass of water and places it on the table.

When it’s workday, Borjie gets into the room and check if the AC is on. He then goes, outside, peeks through the door before closing it, and says, “Mag rest na ka Mommy ha, mag work pa ka unya.” When night falls, he goes inside the room and, lays down by my side closely and says “Good morning na Mommy” as signal for me to start my day, which is actually a night. He then watches me get ready for work, and when I go down the stairs, my sandals will be waiting for me at our doorstep, prepared by my little boy.

I could not emphasize enough the importance of a good and healthy marriage. How a husband treats his wife will be noted and mirrored by the children. I’m sure my 3-year old Borjie would not have understood care and affection if it was not something that he saw from his dad.

One of the highlights of my visit to Manila was my chance to attend a marriage seminar conducted by Victory Church, and speakers emphasized the role of healthy marriages in the society. It is through healthy marriages that we produce healthy families, with healthy children contributing to a healthy society. In most cases, the deviants of our society come from broken or dysfunctional families, as in the case of Joker in Batman. Well, yeah, I know Batman is a fiction, but the underlying truth to that is that most of those we consider being black sheep in our society are usually those who lacked the emotional support and nurturing from their parents.

I never forget to thank God for giving me healthy and emotionally secure children. But more than anything else, I thank God for giving me a husband who shares my vision of creating a happy home with a hope of contributing to a better world.

On Marriage

How does one define a good marriage? What makes a marriage a good one? I claim to be no expert, and like I always say, I don’t have a perfect marriage, not even close to being one. But is my marriage a good one?

I prefer to call it beautiful, and I love everything in it – the good, the bad, the happy moments and the sad. What I love about it is not how well we get along, but how we manage to reconcile the little and big differences we have. Sometimes, I get so mad and upset at him, but I love how the realization dawns on me that he will always be one single person I could never get tired of loving. I love how, no matter how long and how hard we argue over some things, we come up with a compromise and strike a deal between us. And I love that now matter how badly I want to scream and raise my voice at him during arguments, I’d still want to whisper sweet nothings in his ear at night.

My marriage may not exactly be a good one. But it’s a happy one. Not all marriage can be good. But what’s more beautiful about marriage is that every couple has the power to weave it into a wonderful tale of love that is uniquely beautiful as the other.

The Road That Was Chosen

Some people wonder what could have awaited them in the road not chosen, while some other try to postpone choosing some major inevitable decisions in their lives. Me? I revel and celebrate everyday for the choices I made that have led me to where I am now.

Sometimes, I also think about what I have missed to do. I could have gotten a degree. Perhaps went to law school. Or maybe I could be well way ahead of the corporate ladder. Maybe, I could have travelled across continents or I could be any of those characters that have starred in my daydreams when I was younger.

But marriage has kept me from being all or any of these. And I completely understand why people are afraid to plunge into this next level commitment. We are a new generation of empowered women who believes that our destination should not necessarily be confined into building a home. We believe that the world is ours to conquer, and that our possibilities are limitless. And so we think, why get tied down when we can be free to explore the world?

As a new breed of women, we are more aware of our rights and we are free to explore our options. We make sure that are our eyes our both wide open in every endeavor that we take into, be it a career venture or a romantic relationship. And while I’d like to think that I belong to this generation, I also believe that sometimes, one has to close her eyes and live in blind faith in order to be truly happy.

Do I sometimes wonder what could have been had I not marry at an early age? Honestly, sometimes I do. But I know that what could have been will never be as good as what is now and could never measure up to the beautiful life that the road that was chosen has brought me. Marriage is a choice – a choice I’m glad I made.

Blessed

It doesn't surprise me when people are amazed to learn that I am already married. Their amazement grows when they find out that I have two adorable kids. People think I'm young, which makes it all the more amazing. I may have married young, I may have missed out on a lot of opportunities, but I will never trade what I have now for anything in the world. Life has given me the most wonderful blessing...a beautiful family.